"Oneness" and Justice: A Lenten Reflection by Hazel Johnson

I draw on the wisdom of the Enneagram [personality test] to continue to develop my understanding of my spirit, actions and intentions. As a [type] one on the Enneagram, I tend to see the world from how it should be. I want to improve, reform, correct and fix things to the ideal of how it “ought” to be. This, though perceived as rigid, really supports my drive for social justice work. Because I desire for the world to be “right”, I have identified the things that make that world come into fruition. My experience as a one has drawn me deeper into relationships with others and those relationships have pushed me back out into the world to work for justice.

Enneagram scholar Helen Palmer writes that “[Enneagram personality type] ones are attracted to purist points of view, which provide a safe launching pad for righteous anger in the name of a worthy cause.” However, in my experience as a community organizer and leadership development facilitator, I have had to check myself in my perfectionism.

A few years ago, I was given the task to create a youth organizing network that helps bring Lynn teens out of systems of oppression. Sounds easy, right? Wrong! After being in Lynn for 3 days I “knew” exactly what the teens needed. I had a goal to have our first event with 50 people present and when that day came there were 5 people present. My perfect gathering and my perfect image fell flat.

Later that week, I sat down with one of my core teens and he just flat out told me “Hazel, you need to be realistic. Did you think that you could come into a new city and just create something without it being hard?” That hurt coming from a 15 year old, but he was right. How could I believe that I had the answers? How could I let me desire to be right cloud the core principle of community organizing- relationships?

My “oneness” gets in the way of the process by which we come to know justice in our world. Relationships, for me, are a key pathway to bring justice and peace, but my “the way things ought to be” mentality creeps in from time to time. That’s when I use the Enneagram to deepen my understanding of the different ways people interact in the world, and that strengthens my own self-awareness. From that re-evaluation place, I am able to return to the justice work assured that I do not have the right answer and that it is just fine. As a one, I have to constantly examine my intentions. The Enneagram helps me to be a more self-reflective and flexible leader so that true justice remains the focus. 

As I look to the 40 days (and more) ahead, I am reminded that God does not need me to be put together or perfect. God desires to be with me and that is what the Enneagram has been for me- a tool to help me grow in the truth of who I am and that brings me deeper into my relationship with God.

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Hazel Johnson is a Nevada native that moved to Boston in 2011 to participate in Life Together. Her work included organizing Lynn’s first youth organizing network and partnering with the Youth Jobs Coalition to secure $8.6 million in youth summer jobs funding. Community organizing introduced her to the Leadership Development Initiative where she continues to work as a facilitator and presenter. Currently, Hazel is pursuing her MDiv at Boston University School of Theology in hopes to be a bridge between her interests in leadership development, theology and political action.  

 

Notes: 

 

Beautiful and Strong: An Ash Wednesday Reflection

Most mornings, I find myself on a crowded red line train from my intentional community’s house near Ashmont Station to Park Street. Shuttered inside the train car I am one face in the constellation of commuters - business people, teenagers on the way to school, construction workers, parents cradling their children. I moved to the greater Boston area from New York City to join Life Together, an Episcopal Service Corps program, although I’m originally from Georgia - from a place sprawling with cotton, tobacco, or peanut fields, depending on the season. Train delays are a relatively new kind of frustration for me. Oddly enough, and despite my chagrin, I have grown to appreciate the opportunity for stillness these moments spent below ground, in between destinations, present.

As I wait underground, the divine has come to feel strangely accessible. It is not so much a space I have made for God as a space I feel God has made for me. Recently, I’ve been revisiting the Christian musicians my Mama used to play in my childhood kitchen. I am still healing from aspects of my fundamentalist religious upbringing. CeCe Winans’ music in particular brings comfort and healing, while reminding me of a complicated relationship to God and faith. I listen to her honeyed voice:

That's when I close my eyes, take some time and realize

That He was always there

Truth is He never left

That is what the Spirit says, and I believe it so

I never have to be alone.

On my morning commute, I am compelled to have patience with myself and my growth, and recognize the one to whom I belong - the one who was always there, and always waiting for me to come back.

This Ash Wednesday, as I acknowledge my mortality and limitations, I am thinking about what it means to surrender. There are so many ways we can separate ourselves from others and from God. In my work at Episcopal City Mission, I expand from thinking about my own healing to how we can create contexts for healing and justice in the world. We often open our staff meetings at ECM with a chant describing the world’s sickness that ends “...but I dreamt we were all beautiful and strong.” When I think of the work we are doing around immigrant, racial, and economic justice, this image anchors me.

In pausing, I can see where there is longing for healing and longing for wholeness - in myself and in the world - and surrender to that truth. Martin L. Smith, an Episcopal priest and theologian, reflects on “the self-surrender of Jesus” (5)  in his book A Season for the Spirit. Smith states that “the forty days for Jesus began with this handing over of himself to the Spirit” (5). My intention during Lent is to hand myself over to the Spirit. In surrender to my own personal healing process, I believe I can draw nearer to those touched by the world’s sickness, and stand alongside them, all of us beautiful and strong.


Notes:

  • The lyrics come from "Never Have to Be Alone," a song on CeCe Winans’ 2017 album Let Them Fall In Love. 
  • Smith, Martin L. A Season for the Spirit: Readings for the Days of Lent. New York, Church Publishing Inc., 2004.

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Caroline is a Life Together fellow thrilled to learn more about community organizing and join the wonderful Episcopal City Mission team. Caroline graduated in May 2017 from New York University with a degree in English Literature and Creative Writing. At NYU, she was Co-Events Coordinator for Active Minds, a mental health awareness and stigma-fighting student organization. She has edited and contributed to to literary magazines at Thomas University and New York University, and has organized and participated in community poetry readings. Caroline is a Georgia native who writes, reads, bakes, and does yoga in her spare time. 

Email: caroline@episcopalcitymission.org